Last year, I had the pleasure of working with a sweet couple, Jamie & Kenny, after they won a giveaway I had going on! Jamie & Kenny were the sweetest & I absolutely loved their casual mini Laguna Beach session! At the time they already booked a wonderful photographer for their wedding day, but they so graciously recommended me to Kenny’s sister, Jenny, who got engaged earlier this year to her fiancé, Francis! Now, in one week they’ll be getting married & I am so excited to be photographing the start of their marriage!! YAY!
The story of Jenny & Francis’ dating relationship has a slower start, and a quicker engagement, which I’ll share with you soon! ;) Jenny & Francis grew up in the same church, their parents knowing each other long before they were even born! They didn’t talk much until the end of Jenny’s sophomore year of high school, where they served together while on a missions trip in Arizona! Francis had just finished his first year in college, and Jenny’s impression of him at that time was that “he was bald, philosophical and [that he] had a dry sense of humor.” Francis’ first impression of Jenny was very much that she seemed to be a “girly girl”.
“I thought she was fun and full of energy. She was also kind of silly and ridiculous because she had this girly thing going with her good friends Ashley and Judy. They were always giggling and laughing about something. High school girls basically. When things calmed down though she seemed to have some deep mature thoughts at times.”
Francis is three years older than Jenny, so they continued to grow as just friends until one day, Francis sent an email…
“10 years ago, in 2007, Francis sent me a very long email with many prefaces and prefaces to his prefaces (he was a philosophy major!), beating around the bush and alluding to the idea of being interested in me. However, he never said anything directly and left it pretty vague and open-ended. We were very good friends at the time, and so it completely caught me off guard. I wasn’t interested and was actually pretty bummed, knowing that this would ruin our friendship… which is pretty much what happened, since it was followed by literally 6-7 years of silence.(Francis refers to this time period as the inter-testamental period, when there was 400 years of silence between the Old and New Testaments in the Bible haha).Meanwhile, even though we stopped talking and being friends, we continued to serve together as counselors in the youth ministry at our church. During these years, I noticed his heart of service, his devotion to prayer, and a growing vision and passion for investing in the youth. About a few years ago, I told myself that if he ever expressed interest in me again, I would be open to it.“
As time would tell and things healed over a little bit, Francis & Jenny started talking once again since their parents started spending more time together. Good thing Jenny had that thought of being open to him again, since after some time, Francis tried once more (good job, Francis!!)…
“After he scheduled a time to meet with my parents and asked them for permission to get to know me more intentionally, he texted me one evening and asked if he could come over to talk with me. With a cup of hot cocoa in one hand (just in case I couldn’t have caffeine at night) and a typed letter detailing his intentions in the other, he shared with me that he was interested in getting to know me better again. After so many years of silence and serving together from afar, we both knew that we could respect the other person and that we saw certain admirable qualities, but the big question is whether we would get along as friends again. I told him, “I don’t NOT like you” and said I was “agreeable” to getting to know him again (haha I chose my words very carefully).“– Jenny
As Francis says it, “Things started off really slowly but that was the beginning of our relationship.” These two didn’t have a super easy beginning, but that “inter-testamental period” that they didn’t talk during seems to have been one that allowed each of them to grow in ways they needed to before coming together again. :)
Now their proposal story will come soon, but for now, here’s an introduction to their sweet engagement session! These two love trying different things together! Their adventures aren’t always travel-related, but often times just trying new things, and seeing what they both like doing together! Three things they both agreed on: the beach, food & nature, which led us to having their session in Malibu, an area they both loved for its beautiful mix of ocean and land!
We started off Jenny & Francis’ engagement session at the Malibu Pier Restaurant! It was a sweet time of getting to know these two a little bit more over some drinks & a tasty quesadilla!! I loved seeing how these two interacted & made one another smile! :)
“Jenny is very thoughtful in the way she cares for other people and I always noticed that. For example, I learned how to create useful care packages for people who are hospitalized. She always remembers birthdays, anniversaries, and such so that she can celebrate with them or give them a gift. She’s also very committed when it comes to her faith and her love for God and others. This was really important to me because I felt like she could help me to grow and be better in the long run. A shared understanding of grace and forgiveness was important also because I figured I was going to need that a lot. Also, she’s really good looking. That’s not shallow right?“– Francis
HAHA! That last comment made me laugh! But indeed, even in the shorter time I’ve gotten to know these two, Jenny has such a sweet & kind way of talking with you and making you feel heard. & She has a super contagious smile! :)
“It was during that decade of serving together in youth ministry that I began to really respect and notice Francis, as someone I could admire. He has a big heart for young people and is passionate about staying relevant and approachable and at the same time giving them a larger- than-life perspective to consider.
There was one kid in our youth group who really took to Francis, and he’s just one of those kids who really requires an extra amount of patience. I really noticed the way Francis went out of his way to invest in this kid, giving him rides several times a week and hanging out with him out of care for him. And he did this for years, all under the radar, serving selflessly and faithfully but not drawing any attention to himself.
I also love that Francis is down to earth, approachable and connects well with people. He is a good friend and people always turn to him as someone with whom they can have thought-provoking conversations, as well as just have a fun time and a good laugh.”
– Jenny
We headed to the shore after finishing up our time at the Pier, and even with the crazy high and strong tide, these two decided to still put up with my crazy antics of having them run daringly with the waves! ;)
I asked Francis & Jenny if they had a favorite memory from during their dating relationship, & I loved both of their answers!
“I don’t know what it is about us as a couple. We always have trouble picking out our favorite things whether it’s a memory, restaurant, activity, food, etc… We just know that if you pick the wrong favorite person you really need to work on your question answering skills.So I don’t know if this my “favorite” [memory] then, but I thought the first time we celebrated my birthday together was representative of how I see our relationship.Jenny took a day off from work and had a whole day’s activities planned for me. We had an early lunch at a park in Downtown LA and tried to take a bunch of fancy looking pictures of ourselves and the view. Afterwards we went ice skating at Pershing Square and held hands for the first time. We wandered around taking pictures to kill time before our next activity and we closed things out with a surprise. She blindfolded me and took me to Medieval Times (my first time) and then got a bunch of our friends there with us.The gift she gave me was a little jar full of things she appreciated about me (I was impressed that she could think of that many with me as the subject!! haha). I really enjoyed that day because it reflected the big heart she has, her thoughtful care of others, and showed me a person who I could rely on and walk through life with.“
– Francis
“I can’t think of any one memory in particular, but one thing Francis and I enjoyed doing together was putting our heads together, as well as our hands and our wallets, to bless others in need. We made Friday nights our time to put together care baskets, cook freezer meals for new moms who needed it, assemble Samaritan’s Purse shoe boxes, or just visit someone who could use some extra care. We had agreed early on that we want our relationship to not just be about ourselves, but instead to be a blessing to others. So it was meaningful that we were both on the same pages in wanting to serve together.“
– Jenny
AH! I teared reading this response because it just helped solidify my thoughts on these two as being basically amazing. Their heart for others is so beautiful, it makes me want to cry. It’s so encouraging!!
After the beach, we headed a couple minutes away into the beautiful Solstice Canyon! It was gorgeous!! :) They wanted some time away from the city, & we definitely got to experience a relaxing evening surrounded by nature!
Jenny made this plaque you see above! Yup, she wrote it!! So beautiful! And 1 John 4:19 is so fitting to these two & their desire to serve others in & through their relationship!! :) Gah! It’s one verse I also personally hold onto. :)
Now finally, I’m sure you’re wondering how these two got engaged!
“I knew that Francis was going to propose that day because we had talked about how important it was to me for my parents to be there to celebrate with us afterwards, and that was the only weekend they were going to be in town within a 4 month period. Francis said to set aside 2:30 and on, but besides that I didn’t know anything else.”
– Jenny
“Still wanting to surprise her, I realized I could use that schedule to my advantage. That night, I asked her dear friend Melody to schedule a lunch with Jenny, and I reminded Jenny that Melody had been wanting to catch up with her for a few weeks. A few minutes later, Mel texted Jenny to ask if she was free for lunch on Sunday. What are the chances?
On Sunday, a couple of our AMAZING friends help me set up the gazebo in Temple City Park with some decorations, fresh flowers, and pictures. Melody asked Jenny if they could eat outside since the weather was so nice. Fortunately for me, they had done this before at the same exact park.”
– Francis
“When we got to the park, Melody wanted to go toward the gazebo, saying “it looks like someone died,” so we went to go check out the “vigil.” When we got closer, there was a table with flowers, candles, and pictures of me and Francis arranged in a heart.
Francis came up behind me and Melody scurried away.Francis and I had agreed while we were dating that we would not say the words “I love you” until we were engaged, because we wanted to back those words up with commitment. So he used to drive me crazy by saying things like, “I love U….nited Airlines!” haha! After saying some sweet and thoughtful words about what he’s learned during our dating period and what he appreciates about me, he ended by saying, “And for the record, I’ve never flown United Airlines before. I love you.”
My heart fluttered and I felt the weight of those 3 words, just thinking about all the times that he HAS communicated that to me through his actions. Then he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him!”
– Jenny
Haha!! I love how Francis used that line in his proposal speech!! & How everything so thoughtfully happened! The two of them spent some time with Jenny’s brother & sister-in-law (Kenny & Jamie), and then celebrated with their family & dear friends later in the evening! So sweet! :)
Francis’ words about it all? “It is really difficult to surprise someone on the day that they know they are getting engaged.”
These two just got engaged this past March, and now four months later, they’ll finally officially tie the knot!! HOORAY!!
Now there is so much more I could say about these two, but I decided to hold off until it comes the time to share about their wedding day, & share more of their story! :)
What I will share though is what Jenny & Francis shared that helped them throughout their dating relationship!
“One really helpful quote that we came across while dating was this: “The great prize in marriage is Christ-centered intimacy, the great prize in dating is Christ-centered clarity.” And it helped a lot to make that distinction and to not confuse the two. Intimacy is safest in the context of marriage, and marriage is safest in the context of clarity. The purpose of our dating is determining whether the two of us should get married, so we should focus our effort there. This really helped us to know what the goal of our dating was, and it allowed us to be honest and intentional with each other…”
– Jenny
“We have a mentor couple that we meet with and Christian, the husband, insisted that during the dating process we build habits that we want to cultivate in marriage. For example, he took breakups and “taking a break” very seriously because those options weren’t available in marriage and taking them lightly made a practice of divorce.
I think it’s easy to misunderstand that every dating couple must make it their goal to get married to each other, but I understood that as just being very purposeful in our dating. This was invaluable to me many times when I considered just exiting a conversation or walking out the door because I was too tired or done for the day. I can talk about giving a topic some rest or giving each other some space, but his voice was in my head every time I wanted to quit, even if only temporarily.
It’s helped me to keep walking through some hard times. Sometimes it was tension with Jenny and other times it helped us to push through difficult situations together.
Our mentors were also very good about reminding us that we can only do our best and we can’t control someone else’s behavior. This was really helpful in navigating tensions between us and also others that we have had conflicts with.”
– Francis
I love that quote Jenny shared! It gives a good perspective on the purpose of dating! & The things Francis shared are things John & I also had wonderful mentors share with us! And lastly, I really liked Francis’ word of advice to the seriously dating & soon to be engaged! :) So here it is!
“Look back often and appreciate what God has done. It has been really neat to track our relationship. Looking back at the difficult times is a good reminder of what we’ve learned, how to move forward, and evidence of God’s grace in our lives. What we found was that even the undesirable experiences taught us something or sharpened our character. Timing that felt completely off several months ago makes perfect sense now when we look at the bigger picture. Looking back helps us to ward off the fear and faithlessness that drives us to make all sorts of silly mistakes.“
I am SO EXCITED for these two as they get ready to be MARRIED!! :)
Happy Saturday!
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